Timing

I clicked on his life,
again, wishing
that keyhole was blocked
except
probably not
it's less often now
he commented, "Couldn't be happier."
but that's not true,
he knows it, too
his smile doesn't reach his eyes
you could be right here
no excessive driving
no regretting
no cud to chew
except
you can't
disappoint the hometown folks
So
you go see your parents
knowing she's nearby
Sunday suppers, guns, your old bronco, maybe church 
a stones-throw of limp convenience
6 hours away
you said she can't communicate
except
she lets you forget
all those fun drugs you love
the tattoos in your passport
the halls of fame and fans
she knew you
before before
and I met you
when we laughed about it, 20-something years later
as you ordered us that wine, watching me
we, slurping oysters
you, staring at my mouth
except
I wish I'd never known
what it means to feel found
because now
Life laps at your ankles
passive, mostly whispers
although,
you told me predictability starves you
you don't even think
to block my keyhole
I wasn't a seasoned memory
So,
go smoke your cigarettes together
go fish with her kid
and when you call, I'll leave my life
except
I can't forgive you
till that's true